Went to the Post Office today to apply for my passport. Had a gruesome photo taken, paid an exorbitant fee to get it expedited, and filled out all the paperwork. The plan is starting to take some sort of shape now; my last day with my current employer will be May 31st. I’ll probably spend a few days saying goodbye to those in Asheville I haven’t had the chance to see. My passport should arrive by June 9th, but before then, I’m hoping to get down to see my cousins in Raleigh, along with some old friends in Durham, Chapel Hill, and Charlotte. Once I get my passport, I’ll be able to get my ticket. The fates seem to be pushing me up to Delmarva, where I’ll get my high school diploma and my birth certificate certified by the State Department while paying my benefactors offspring a visit before I go.
I’m still…wobbly. Attempting to mourn my old life, distinguish it from what’s about to happen. Attempting to get excited about my new life. Trying not to think too much about what was supposed to happen. It feels. I’m not sure how to word it.
I don’t like feeling less than grateful. This is a phenomenal opportunity, in addition to a life raft. It’s just so radically different from the life I once lived. And getting used to that idea is more difficult than one might think.
Today was the first day it felt really real. This is what I’m doing. In a few weeks, I’m saying goodbye to the States for an indefinite period.
It’s time to buck up.