So you could be out in public with him
But not with me
You can take cute selfies and post them online with him
But not me
You took my city from me
You took every nook and cranny
You took the bar where we first kissed
You took the office where we ate while I worked
(The office your new man took over for himself)
You took the streets where we canvassed
The monuments where we protested
You took the venue where you slammed poetry
And the coffeeshop where we talked about childbirth
And union elections
And losing friends
You took my purpose from me
You took my ability to be a voice for change
You took the years of work I had done
You took my ability to sit and talk about economic policy
And radical organizing
You took my ability to stump for Bernie and Jill
Because you should be with me when I do it
I can’t even watch a debate without your ghost
Casting me aside like I wasn’t there
While your future boyfriend sat across the room
You took my heart from anyone else
Because how can one open a heart
How can one give love so freely
After someone so trusted
Took it for granted?
You hid me in a closet
And you used my love to build yourself up
You used my time and my heart
Until you didn’t need them anymore and threw me to the side
And now you want to bury me
Hide me from your past like I’m something that didn’t happen
I loved you well.
Can you say the same?
If I say I hope that you are loved
The same way you loved me
Does that fill you with hope?
Or dread?
You got to move on.
You got to leave broken promises
Of wedding rings
And raising children
Of fighting on the front lines
And raising a family
You get to waltz through a sea of suitors
Of temporary boyfriends
Of sideline lovers
Until you find him
He’s older
Better looking
And you can pretend all of this didn’t happen.
I’m just a body in your wake
A tissue, holding the ugly
And the hurt
Holding what you needed to cast aside
And being cast aside with it
My streets are not mine
And my purpose is now yours
And my heart is hidden
From anyone else who might need it.
Was it worth it?
My death on your cross for your salvation?
I wish I’d never met you.
I wish I’d never known you
I wish you’d never made a promise
That you couldn’t keep
I wish you’d never left
I wish I knew you still
I wish you took your promises
As seriously as I did.
You’re the reason I’m leaving it all behind

One thought on “Casablanca

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